Maybe I’m still riding the high of my summer fling, maybe it’s the warm weather encouraging my romantic approach to life, either way, it’s the first Lights Off With Lillie and we are starting with a bang.
Last year before we all toddled off on summer vacay to celebrate a wholesome Chrissy and feral NYE, I boldly claimed on the GGO poddy one dating rule we simply must take into 2023.
But if you didn’t listen to the poddy because you were desperately searching for hilarious Elf on the Shelf ideas, let me refresh you.
It all started when I said that 2022 was the year of the ick.
Icks women have about men, have dominated social media for the better half of last year - the biggest one being when they hold their nose before going under water - but now that we are in 2023 I think for every ick, it’s only fair you also have a smash.
The smash being something a guy, woman or non-binary person does that makes you want to grab your Missy Mini and ride that wave to o-town.
So in light of our new approach to dating, here are 7 smashes that make you say hooooooly moly.
1. Put their hand on the back of the seat when they reverse the car
I can’t even type this without getting butterflies in my stomach.
Why is this so hot? The jury is still out but suddenly I feel protected. I know if the car crashes their arm is a mere 20 centimetres away from me at all times.
Once they’ve reversed into the park they might want to caress my hair or something equally as butterfly inducing and the only thing I have to say about that is: I volunteer as tribute.
2. Clenching their jaw
This is a thing guys in particular do when they’re mad, jealous or extremely turned on and for some ungodly reason it’s the hottest thing you’ll ever see.
Oh, you’re jealous of me talking to Ben from accounts? I can tell because you're clenching that jaw like there's no tomorrow but I'm into it. Ben, who?
I’m showing my toxic, time to move on.
3. When they take their shirt off and you can see a bit of their belly
Abs or no abs it doesn’t matter.
Since it’s summer you’ve likely seen a lot of the old accidental tummy slip recently and if you’re wondering why it’s so hot, you’re not alone.
Mum always used to tell me to skip the skin tight mini dress and opt for something more comfortable because it keeps the imagination alive and now I get it. Lord have mercy.
4. Carrying heavy things
You know when you’re at the gym and out of the corner of your eye you spot this absolute beast - just kidding. It never happens at the gym.
This kind of smash happens when you’re moving house and ask your best guy mate to help you and all of a sudden he’s King bloody Kong picking up your mattress with one hand.
Sorry, Lillie can't come to the phone right now. Why? Because she's messaging the group chat telling them what a smash guys lifting heavy things is. SOS.
5. Starting the lawnmower
Can’t explain it, don’t have time to get into it but men doing blue jobs is a smash.
Oh you take pride in your property? Put a ring on it because I am more in love than Kim and Pete were this time last year.
6. Driving manual
Have you seen the TikTok where the chicks say it’s a girl thing to drive an auto? Same.
It got me thinking about guys driving manuals and obviously I immediately turned on Netflix and watched Paul Walker In Fast and Furious (RIP) to see if men driving manuals are hot.
Can confirm it’s a smash.
7. Holding your chin before they kiss you
The category is: I’m immediately in love with this person and I will go to war for them because the chin hold pre kiss is the safest and most desired I've ever felt in my life.
Sprinkle a bit of attitude with it and you’ll need a defibrillator to bring you back to life tbh.
Like the ick, a smash doesn't need to be something big. It can be a little act that causes nuclear emotions. Either way, the point is to not get too caught up in the icks this year babes.
Admire your partner/crushes/lovers and all their little things.
- By Lillie Rohan
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